So I broke my own cardinal, unbreakable rule and now I'm paying for it. And pissed. You see, I never attend candle, cookware, cosmetic or whatever-the-hell overpriced merchandise someone is trying to shove down my throat at a sales party under the guise of a 'girls' night'. But I made friendsies with one of the mothers from my daughter's preschool class and I really liked her. I mean, we just clicked.

It's not like I don't have friends, but I lost my BF a while ago (not 'lost' like something tragic like she died or something, we had an unfixable falling out when she revealed what kind of person she really is. It had nothing to do with me, but needless to say I stepped back and went 'WHOA. Not a good person, no'. More on that another day). So needless to say, I've been kind of floundering in the friend department, feeling a little lost without a partner in crime, so when new-Mom-friend invited me to the Mary Kay party she was hosting, I agreed to go. How bad could it be? I mean, it's been ages since I attended something like that and I really deserve a night out, right?

The party itself was a blast, actually. Picture too-strong margaritas and a plethora of new make up to play with. Yay! It was me, new-friend, her e-cig chain smoking, hysterical MIL and the Mary Kay rep. And the MK rep was sooo sweet and fun. So, like the sucker that I am, I threw caution to the wind and ordered $55 of shit I don't need but suddenly felt like I couldn't live without. I'm an easy keeper, I rationalized. I never buy myself anything (this is actually true-I'm a cheap s.o.b. who's big 'splurge' is usually buying a .99 bottle of nail polish or knock-off, generic face cream at Walmart). So treating myself to the stuff was a little fun moment for me, and it wasn't like now we couldn't eat or pay the mortgage or anything tragic.

So I went home with my night cream, which the MK rep had with her, and she was going to mail-right-out my zit zapper and plum mascara (because my life was incomplete until I discovered there is such a thing as plum mascara). The party was on a Thursday night, and she assured me that my last two items would arrive mid/late next week. Fab.

Fast forward a week...and then another...and then...now I'm getting antsy. Mind you, she hasn't cashed my check yet, but where the hell are my precious zit zapper and funky mascara? Finally she hits me up on Facebook on 8/28, and it goes a little something like this:

'Just prepping your order to send out tomorrow. I have you down as the green mascara, but I think you wanted the plum?'

So I respond along the lines of: "Yes, plum, please. New-friendy of mine was the green. Can't wait to get this stuff!'

So I wait...and wait...finally, 9/6, I very politely message her and say, 'Gosh, you haven't cashed my check and my products haven't arrived yet. Any ETA on that?'

I get back a sort of snotty, curt 'Monday'. Nothing more than that one word. No apology that it's now almost a MONTH past the party when I ordered. Okay...(insert patient deep breath here). It's not as if my life depended on getting my Mary Kay order, but c'mon now. I spent good money on stuff that should have arrived within a week, yet I don't get so much as an apology that's it's running weeks late. Whatever.

My package did come Monday. Finally. I was so delighted to get my zit zapper and wouldn't you know it? My green mascara. My $15 a tube, wrong color, GREEN mascara. You should know that I only buy mascara when it's super-extra-bucks at CVS paired with a coupon for $5 or something. I'm not sure that I've ever spent $15 on a single tube. Now that I have, it's the wrong f'in color that I have no use for, weeks late and after confirming with the rep that I wanted plum, not green. WTF.

Yes, I could run to the post office, buy a packing envelope, spend $3 or $4 to pop it in the mail for her and then wait until next summer for her to send the correct one, but at this point I'm so f'in pissed about the whole thing that I just want to be done with it and I can't be bothered. So my dear friend with the gorgeous eyes that change color according to what she's wearing gets a free-to-her-but-cost-me-$15-for-nothing tube of overpriced green mascara, and that MK rep gets no repeat order from me. At least I still have my night cream and zit zapper, and the quality is fine on both.

I'm just mad as hell to be treated so shabbily by a so-called 'business woman'. Things get delayed, things get messed up, but for the love of Christ...this was just not worth the hassle and money wasted. She did a great party, but after the sales were made I received no real customer service. Not only has she lost any possible repeat sales to me, she's turned my off the whole damn brand, just when I was giving it a chance.  (To be crystal clear- I'm happy with the products I did correctly receive and realize this giant flub has nothing to do with Mary Kay as a company and everything to do with my horrible rep)

No more sales parties for me! Should've stuck to my no-sales-party rule in the first place. I'd have $55 more in my bank account. And I wouldn't get pissed off just thinking about it every time I slather on my $30 night cream or banish a zit with my new zip zapper.

And my new friend? We adore each other...but she just moved half a dozen states away and there really was little point in me attending that party since we're just Facebook friends now. Argh. Lesson learned on my part. NO SALES PARTIES. ever.